The Red Shirt
by pandora1017
Summary: Did you know that Jeff Hardy has the same red mesh shirt that Christian wears to the ring? Hmm.....
1. [1/4] Exposition. [Or: You like me! You ...

Title: "The Red Shirt"  
Author: pandora1017  
Rating: PG-13  
Content: Slash, language

Characters: [Who I don't own, dagummit!]  
Jay = Jay Reso = Christian  
Jeff = Jeff Hardy  
Adam = Adam Copeland = Edge  
Randy = Randy Orton  
Matt = Matt Hardy  
Amy = Amy Dumas = Lita  
Nora = Nora Greenwald = Molly Holly  
Trish = Trish Stratig-something-or-other = Trish Stratus

.

"That's so fucking gross."

I looked up to Adam, mid-bite of pizza, surprised. He nodded slightly and gestured with his beer bottle to the bar's dance floor. I set the rest of the too greasy slice of pizza back down on my plate and followed his gaze. Not that I had to. He was referring to how Jeff Hardy was practically grinding on the dance floor with that new kid, Randy Orton. Maybe he was referring to the vulgar dancing itself. Maybe he was referring to how Jeff hadn't known that kid for more than a week or so. Maybe he was referring to -

"Fucking faggots."

Nope, he was referring to that. I grunted ambivalently, grateful that the mouthful of pizza gave me a chance to not respond. Adam didn't care, he was too busy being disgusted by Jeff. He took a swig of his beer and continued. "Fucking freaks me out when I have to job to him. You never know, he could, like, feel you up, and you just have to lay there."

I washed down the gross pizza with a drink of beer, deciding I was finished eating in order to prevent an evening of worshipping the porcelain god. Adam, on the other hand, wasn't paying any attention to me, so he didn't notice me flinching slightly when he spoke. How was I supposed to tell him that I actually kind of liked laying down for Jeff?

"You gonna eat that?" he asked, abruptly changing the topic and pointing to the pizza I'd pushed away from me.

"No," I muttered. If Adam wasn't so thickheaded, he might have noticed a long time ago that I was a 'fucking faggot' as well. Adam, who was now inhaling that nasty pizza fast enough to make me sick just by watching, had always been straight as an arrow and vocally homophobic. Based on that, I had decided to not tell him back in college when I realized that I had a crush on him. I had gotten over that in time, thank God, by realizing that hell would freeze over before Adam would let me survive telling him that. I had moved on.

To Jeff.

Not that I could do anything about that, either. I'd been through a lot of shit in my life, and the only thing that I'd always had was Adam. When kids in school picked on me for being a dork, Adam had always chased them off. When my parents kicked me out of their house, Adam had let me move into his apartment. Adam had gotten me into Sully's Gym, so we could be the big wrestling superstars we now were. Adam had been there on those cold nights after we'd done a show in the Northwest Territories and had no where else to sleep but the school gym floors, using each others' body heat to prevent hypothermia. Ha, if he'd known then that I was gay, we both would have froze to death on some Indian reservation.

So now there was Jeff. Jeff was unbelievable fascinating. It was almost like I could talk to him forever and never get bored. He was interested in everything. I suppose if I wanted to, I could go see if Jeff was interested in **me**, but that would mean risking my friendship with Adam. Bros before hos, right? Of course, Adam could go hit on any girl in the joint and not worry about risking our friendship. If I even thought about shacking up with a guy... Adam would flip. It wasn't worth it.

"Hey, you all right, man?"

"What?" I asked, realizing I'd been staring off into space and snapping my attention back to Adam. "Um, yeah."

"What's so interesting on that beer label?" Adam asked with a toothy grin that used to drive me up the walls.

"D'ja know that Fosters is imported from Canada?" I asked, pretending that I had actually been reading the label on my beer bottle.

"I thought that was that Australian shit."

"Nope," I read, "'imported from Canada'."

"Huh," Adam said, shrugging. Then he smiled. "Bored?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go back to the hotel," he decided. "Before those guys make me sick."

"Sure," I nodded, not making eye contact. Pulling some money out of my pocket, I dropped it on the table. Adam did the same, then started to the door. I sighed at Adam's back, then cast one last glance at Jeff. He was still dancing with Randy, but, if my brain wasn't playing tricks on me, I could have sworn that he was watching Adam and me as we left.

"You coming?" Adam asked.

"Yeah," I answered again, quickly turning back and following Adam out.

"You all right, Jay?" Adam asked me suddenly as we left the pounding music behind us and stepped into the cool summer night. I sighed, taking in the clean air greedily after that thick bar smoke. Adam had fallen in step with me, I found, and I looked up to him. He had pretty green eyes that were currently watching me with concern. Callous as he could be, he still had his moments of being a decent, caring human being, I reminded myself with a slight smile.

"Yeah, I'm just feeling a little sick. I think it was the pizza."

"The pizza wasn't that bad."

"This coming from the man who holds a record in that disgusting dive in Sarnia for eating the most anchovies they could pile on a pizza..."

"Dude," Adam started grinning, "you know what I could really go for now?"

"Don't say it, I'm already feeling sick."

Adam laughed and started the rental SUV as I was still climbing in. "Man, that was nothing compared to setting the record at that Mexican joint in SoCal for most..."

I cut Adam off with mock gagging noises.

"Fine, fine. You stick to your rice cakes and celery sticks or whatever it is that you eat and I'll enjoy my food."

"Just 'cause I drink a light beer every once in a while -"

"Health nut."

"Fine. Enjoy your heart attacks."

Adam laughed again as we pulled out of the parking lot.

-

There was absolutely nothing on T.V. I knew this for a fact because I had flipped through all the channels about five thousand times.

"Dork chop, stop it."

I looked back to Adam, surprised. "Dork chop?"

He glowered at me over the top of his book. "Put down the remote, Jay, before I break it."

I smiled to myself and turned off the T.V.

"You sure you're all right, man?" he asked again, closing his finger in his book.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I just need some air. I'm going for a walk." I pushed myself off the bed. Maybe a walk would help clear my head. I needed to get rid of that picture of Jeff that was engrained in my head. Those curious hazel eyes, the ever-changing hair color, the cute dimples that make him seem even younger than he already is... I needed some air.

"You want company?" Adam asked, genuinely concerned. The last thing I needed while trying to figure out what to do about Jeff was Adam.

"Nah, thanks. Go ahead and get some sleep. I'll be back soon," I informed him, grabbing my room key and slipping on some sandals.

"Um, ok," he answered, hesitantly. I flashed him my best attempt at a smile, but I knew it came out weak. "Hey, Jay?"

I looked back at him as I reached the door. "Yeah?"

"I was just kidding about that celery thing."

I laughed. "I appreciate that, but if you eat my rice cakes before I get back..."

Adam laughed slightly, then knitted his brow pensively. "You don't really eat...?"

I decided to let him figure that one out on his own as I left with a smile.

Well, I'd successfully gotten away from Adam. Now what? There wasn't much to do in a hotel but sleep and I knew I wouldn't be able to do that for a while. I guess I could go down to the lobby and veg. Good a plan as any, I guess. Before I got there, though, I found the pool. It was still open, actually, despite the fact that it was almost two a.m., and there was someone in there.

Jeff, as it turned out.

I had to double check, but, yes, Jeff Hardy **was** doing swantons into the hotel pool at two a.m. all by himself.

My will power did put up a valiant fight, but I successfully stomped it into the ground and went in to talk to Jeff. Yes, yes, I am weak. But he's so damn cute. I almost decided to not talk to him at the last minute, as he climbed out of the pool and jumped again, but my feet just seemed to keep going towards him.

"Jeff?" I asked as he finally emerged from the water once more.

He turned to me, surprised, then smiled and swam to the edge of the pool. "Hey, Jay, what's goin' on?"

"Not much," I admitted, then smiled and croutched next to the pool. "What the hell are you doing?"

Jeff shrugged with a smile. "Ah got bored. Matt went t' sleep, but Ah wasn't tired."

"So you decided to practice wrestling moves?"

Jeff just smiled, then pushed himself up on the ledge and got out of the pool.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that," I added, getting up quickly should Jeff decide to push me in. "I didn't mean to stop you."

He smiled at me again and went over to a plastic table to pick up a white towel. I followed him to the table sat down in a plastic chair on the side of it. Jeff methodically dried himself off, starting with his back, down to his feet, then finally his blue hair. I hoped I wasn't drooling.

"It's all right. Ah've been doin' this f' like an hour already," he shrugged.

"Swantons?" I asked, surprised. That won me another grin.

"Swimmin'," he corrected, sitting down kitty-corner from me. "What brings y' down here?"

"Bored," I shrugged. "I was looking for something to do, and then I saw you in here."

I flinched internally. Well, that sounded bad. Jeff grinned. "Yeah?"

"...and I figured I could talk to you." Heh, nice cover, Jay. Of course, the look Jeff was giving me now made it seem as though he didn't quite buy it. There was something very appealing about the lazy way he was leaning back in his chair combined with the cool, steady stare and the damp blue hair just barely resting on his shoulders. Dammit, Jay, don't gawk.

"Actually, Jay, there's somethin' Ah've been meanin' t' talk t' you about f' a while," Jeff leaned forward in his chair and smiled at me.

Please, God, don't let my voice crack. "Yeah?"

"Ah don't know if y' noticed, but Ah've been watchin' y' lately."

Breathe, breathe. I smiled hesitantly. "Jeff, I -"

"Ah think Ah like you."

Well, my jaw was moving. It was **trying** to speak. But nothing came out. Jeff grinned at me.

"Look, Jeff, I'm really flattered, but I don't -"

"Don't give me that bullshit," he cut me off, still grinning. "Ah know y' like me, too. Ah've been watchin' you watchin' me."

I blushed. Subtlety had never been one of my strong points. But I couldn't have Jeff. Adam would find out sooner or later and I would loose my best friend. I got up quickly. This had been a bad idea. I shouldn't have come talk to Jeff. Before I could take a step, though, Jeff had jumped up, too, and blocked my way. He was taller than me, and I was forced to look up to meet his eyes. They were just as nice as the last time I checked, I found. That was right about when he closed them and leaned down me. Oh, hell, there was no way I could skip this chance. Even with my eyes closed, I managed to find his face with one hand, and I ran my fingers along the curve of his jaw. He took my face in one of his hands, as well, and pulled my waist towards him with the other. This was the first time I'd kissed a man, after God only knows how many years of longing.

It was worth the wait.

His taste, how his tongue toyed with mine, how he felt, pressed up against me... very satisfying. After an all too short kiss that could have lasted another ten minutes with no complaint from either side, Jeff finally let go of me. I was surprised to find that I had to catch my breath. Jeff watched me with an equally satisfied smile on his face. His chest was rising and falling with deep breaths, too. "What were y' sayin'?"

My smile fell abruptly with the reminder of Adam. "It's not that simple, Jeff."

He watched me once more, a confused look on his face. "What's not?"

"I have to go," I admitted, grudgingly.

Jeff frowned. "Look, Jay, Ah don't understand what th' problem is. Ah think we should be t'gether."

I looked up at Jeff, smiling softly. I would have to figure this out later, I couldn't say no to him. "Ok."

His eyebrows jumped up, surprised. I took one of his hands, and we met for another short kiss. Short being a relative term, of course. When we finally let go again, Jeff had a confused smile on his face.

"'Night, Jeff," I smiled, and turned away to go back to my room.

"Wait, Jay, Ah -..." He stopped abruptly as I turned to face him. He looked confused, but that dissolved quickly and he smiled back to me. "'Night, Jay."

Leaving the pool area, I prayed that my heart would stop pounding before I got back to the room. I also hoped Adam would be asleep. I got lucky on the second count, as Adam was out like a light. I went into the bathroom and checked my reflection. Why yes, yes, I was grinning like a moron. Taking a couple deep breaths, I finally slowed my heart rate, too. That, unfortunately, didn't do anything to loose the grin.

Ah, I knew how to fix that. I thought about Adam and the grin vanished. What the hell would he do when he found out that, not only was I gay, but I was hooked up with Jeff? He wouldn't find out, I decided. I couldn't tell him. I don't know how I would keep him from finding out, but I knew that I had to. Adam **could not** find out. I mused over how I could keep the fact that I was finally in love from my best friend as I went through my pre-sleep routine, but ended up crawling into bed with no solution. 


	2. [2/4] Rising Action. [Or: Sap, sap, sapp...

A/N: Heh, silly me, I forgot to explain myself. Ok, so who got the Hardy's eXtreme magazine? Come on, raise your hands. Yes. The photo shoot at the store in NY? The front picture? Why yes, yes, Jeff is wearing Christian's red ring shirt. Interesting.... And, poof! Story.

Shoutouts to Amanda and Michelle: Amanda for collaberating with me on the idea. We kinda pointed it out to each other at the same time, despite the fact that the poor girl doesn't even own the magazine. And Michelle, completely apart from Amanda and I, started her own story based on the lovely shirt [MESH! READ IT!]. And started posting it when she saw this one! Woo! So now it's Amanda's turn! Come on! Write a story about the shirt! All the cool kids are doing it!

Ooh, and an apology. This was an angst story. I swear. But something weird happened. *glares at Christian muse, who jumps, surprised and tries to look innocent* It turned sappy. Grr. Well, he kinda wavers. This chapter, however, is as sappy as the first chapter was angsty. Sorry. All complaints can be sent to my Christian muse. 

----------

I blinked my eyes open and yawned. Something felt wrong here.

Where was I?

"'Bout time y' got up, babe," I heard a soft voice drawl. I rolled over towards the window and saw Jeff sitting in a chair in front of the window, watching me with a smile. He looked like an angel, surrounded my soft morning light.

Morning light? Ah, shit, it was morning.

"What time is it?" I asked, feeling around the nightstand for my watch. Jeff got up, picked up my watch, and handed it to me as he crawled on the bed next to me.

"It's only nine, but we should get on th' road soon."

"I stayed the night?" I asked with a sigh, putting on my watch.

"Y' make it sound like a bad thing," Jeff pouted exaggeratedly. Then, switching to a smirk, he added, "Took me long enough t' get y' t' do it."

"It is a bad thing," I groaned, putting my hands to my face and falling back.

"Adam gets y' every night. Ah think he can do without y' f' one," Jeff joked, gently running his fingers down my arm. "Ah'm beginnin' t' think you're cheatin' on me with him."

I dropped my hands from my face quickly and looked up to Jeff. He laying next to me on his side, grinning and propping himself up on his elbow. His currently red hair fell in cute locks from the loose knot on the back of his head and he was wearing only loose blue tiger striped pajama pants that seemed to fit him almost too well. It took everything I had to not grab and ravish him. Of course, that was what had gotten me into this mess to begin with.

"I promise I am not cheating on you with Adam," I sighed. Jeff sighed back at me, laying down and resting his head on my shoulder. Instinctively, I put my arm around him and held him.

"Oh, Ah see. You're cheatin' on Adam with me then."

"Jeff..."

"Ah know, Ah know," he joked again, moving his hand from my arm to my chest. He had such a nice touch. "Ah jus' can't figure out why y' never want t' stay with me. Matt obviously doesn't mind. Ah think he kinda likes stayin' with Amy an' Trish."

I smiled over Jeff's head.

"It's not that I don't want to stay with you, it's..." Jeff waited silently for the rest of my sentence. This wasn't the first time in our month long relationship that I was struggling to invent a tolerable answer to that question. And it seemed this would be another unsuccessful attempt. "It's just that..."

"Don't give me any bullshit 'bout morals, 'cause after last night, Ah know yours are as far gone as mine."

I grinned again, and kissed the top of Jeff's head. Jeff looked up at me, grinning as well, then pushed himself up and knelt over me on hands and knees. He was so adorable. He must have just gotten out of bed a short while ago because he still hadn't showered yet. I brought my hand to his chin and gently brushed his scruffy jaw, inviting him to a kiss that he readily accepted. Man, I had fallen - and fallen hard - for Jeff. I hadn't been this content in a long time. He brought something to me that I'd been missing for a long time, a kind of happiness that I'd never felt before. Of course, I'd never been in love before. Was this love? It was probably too early to tell for sure, but it was the closest I'd ever been to it, if it wasn't the real thing. I felt Jeff pull away from me slowly and I opened my eyes, still smiling.

"C'mon, Jay, we have t' get ready t' go."

"When I want to go, you say stay. When I want to stay, you say go."

Jeff grinned again and kissed me shortly before climbing off the bed. I sighed and sat up, looking around the bed for my clothes. It **was** time to go. I ran my hand through my hair, trying to unknot it slightly, as Jeff grabbed a duffel bag and went into the hotel room's bathroom. I climbed out of the bed as well and got dressed in my loose navy cargo pants. But I couldn't find my shirt.

"Jeff?"

"Mmm?" he responded. He was brushing his teeth.

"Seen my shirt?"

I heard water run, then, "Nope."

"What did we do with it? I need it."

"Why?" he asked, simply.

"I'm not going to walk down the hall of a hotel half naked."

"Ah s'pose that might not be good."

"No, probably -"

"They'd all start fightin' over your gorgeous self."

I smiled. "No, I'm serious, Jeff."

"Me too. Ah bet there'd be blood spilled."

"Jeff..." I couldn't help but laugh as I started digging around the blankets looking for my shirt. It had to be here somewhere.

"Ah'll have t' make a sign - property of Jeff," Jeff declared. I smiled grimly to myself. Yeah, 'property of Jeff.' Adam would break that sign over my head as he kicked my ass out of his life. "Hey, that's it."

"What is?" I asked, halting my search.

"A sign. Wear my shirt."

"Funny," I said, resuming my search. Jeff had gone to some store in New York for a photo shoot with Matt and Amy recently and found this red loose mesh shirt with black trim that he was wearing last night. I was making fun of him for it, saying the shirt was hardly there and he might as well be naked. Well, one thing led to another and he found himself that way shortly.

"No, Ah'm serious. It's time t' tell Adam where his lovin' man is gettin' his sugah."

Jeff was joking, of course, he had no idea that Adam didn't know about us. But somehow that statement made me freeze. I sat down on the bed, thoughtfully. Here I was, lying to the two men I loved the most. Jeff, by letting him think that everything was normal - and Adam on the same grounds.

"Jay?"

I looked up quickly and found Jeff standing in the doorway of the bathroom with a concerned look on his face. "Yeah?"

"You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I smiled hesitantly as if to demonstrate. That seemed to be close enough for him.

"Then here," he said, tossing his red mesh shirt at me. I caught it, surprised. "Go on."

I held up the shirt with disdain. "I said I wasn't going to walk down the hall half naked."

"It's a shirt."

"It's a fishing net."

"Y' want t' see my fishnets?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head with a smile. "Jeff..."

He just grinned. "No, really. Ah want t' see ya in it. Ah bet you'd look good."

"You also think I'd look good in nothing."

"True."

"Jeff..."

"C'mon, f' me? Jus' try it."

"Fine, fine. I'll put it on."

Jeff smirked and crossed his arms over his chest as I put on the shirt. I looked back up at Jeff and he grinned. "Ah was right. Come look in a mirror."

I sighed and went over to the bathroom with Jeff. When I got in front of the mirror, I did a double take of surprise. Hey, that wasn't too bad... all things considered. I noticed Jeff watching my reaction with a smile. He wrapped his arms around my waist and set his chin on my shoulder. "Ah think y' look sexy."

"Of course I do. Still doesn't say anything about the shirt."

"At least you're callin' it a shirt now."

I grinned and turned in Jeff's arm, to face him. "Fine, fine, it's a shirt. But I still have to go."

He pouted. "Aw, Jay..."

"No, really. My stuff's still in Adam's room."

"All right," Jeff sighed and let go of me slowly. I started to take off the shirt to give it back to him but he stopped me. "No, really. It looks good on you. Better than on me. Keep it."

"Jeff," I started to laugh, but he had a proud grin on his face. So I just shook my head with a smile. "All right."

"Ok, then go back t' y' precious Adam."

"Jeff..."

"Ah'm kiddin', babe." He kissed me, as if to prove it. And it was effective.

"Ok, I'll see you soon, kid."

I stepped out into the hall and my smile dropped immediately.

Adam will not recoginze the shirt. Adam will not recognize the shirt.

I repeated this to myself several more times before I actually mentally debated whether it would be better to go back in this shirt or no shirt at all. Would Adam notice? Of course Adam wouldn't notice, guys didn't notice that kind of thing. Did they?

"Hey, Jay. Nice shirt. Isn't that Jeff's?"

I looked up quickly, no doubt with fear in my eyes. My reaction made Matt drop his smile.

"Um, yeah, it's Jeff's," I stuttered. "He gave it to me."

Matt smiled again. "Ah'm not accusin' y' of anythin'. Sounds like somethin' Jeff would do."

"Oh, I know," I continued quickly. "You just startled me."

"You all right, Jay? Y' seem a little... nervous."

I took a breath. "I'm just distracted."

"Well, Ah won't hold y' up. Ah need t' make sure Jeff's gettin' ready. Sometimes he's a little... well... not very..."

"Punctual?" I asked with a smile. "Don't worry. He was practically dragging me out of bed this morning."

Matt laughed.

"Maybe you're finally doin' what Ah've been tryin' t' do f' years now," he said, patting my shoulder. "Keep it up. See y' around."

With that, he stepped into the room I had just left. And I hit my hand to my forehead. Hell, if Matt noticed... Of course, he recoginzed it as Jeff's because he was with Jeff when he bought it. Yes, that had to be it. Adam would not notice. Making this my mantra, I went back to my room, digging around in my pockets for the room key. Here goes everything.

Adam, as it turns out, was standing in front of the mirror, wearing a towel and harshly dragging a brush through his hair. There was no way to hide from him, so I might as well take my punishment, whatever it may be. "Dude, you're going to rip out all your hair if you keep that up."

"Might be better off that way," he muttered, frustrated with his hair just like everytime he had to brush through it after a shower. I smiled, and went over to the bed where I was **supposed** to have slept last night. Adam's reflection, I noticed after a second, was watching me with a grin. "So? Dish."

"Dish what?" I asked, feigning naiveity. I must have been as red as Jeff's shirt.

"Who were you with last night?"

"What makes you think -"

"You have that 'I just got laid' look."

I could **feel** myself blushing now. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Trish?"

"Adam."

"Nora?"

"**Adam.**"

"Amy? Matt'll kill you."

"**Adam!**"

Adam's smirk dropped and he turned to me with a look of surprise. "You didn't."

I wasn't sure what he was implying, but I didn't like the sound of it. "Jesus, Adam, I didn't do anything."

The grin returned. He was laughing at me. "You didn't sleep with any of the girls, did you?"

Play it off, Jay. He has no idea, otherwise he wouldn't be smiling. "No! I didn't!"

"You got a ringrat."

"I didn't -... a what?"

"A fan. You slept with a fan last night."

I rolled my eyes and turned away. "Jesus, Adam."

"You did!" he exclaimed, certain he'd figured it out. So what do I do now, agree with him or let him keep guessing until he realizes the truth? "Did you even know her name?"

Adam sat down next to me, ready to pump me for information. Goddammit, I didn't want to lie to him. I rubbed my forehead, a headache deveolping. "Adam, I didn't sleep with a fan."

"You don't have to be ashamed," Adam was still grinning. "I'm sure all of the guys have considered it from time to time. Was she hot?"

"I said, I didn't -"

Before I could finish my sentence, Adam grabbed me in a sideheadlock and gave me a brotherly noogie. "Way to go, kiddo. But let's make this a last time."

I pushed his arm over my head, annoyed. He just smiled at me. "I'm going to make it my personal duty to find you a good woman."

Oh, that was just what I needed. Adam must have noticed my face fall 'cause he quickly amended his statement. "Not that you need my help, of course."

"I don't need to find a -"

"Come on, man, you've been acting all weird lately. Maybe a girl will get you out of your funk."

"Who says I'm in a funk?" I asked. I regretted it right away. My defensiveness might make Adam suspicious. The last thing I needed was to make Adam try to figure out what was going on.

His smile dropped again. "Look, I just noticed you acting differently. Is there something wrong?"

"No," I said, looking Adam in the eye to try to convince him. His look of concern once again dissolved into a smile and he punched me jocularly in the shoulder.

"Then cheer up. You just got laid."

With that, he got up and started looking for something to wear from his travelbag. I shook my head with a slight smile. Well, he was right as usual. Still smiling, I grabbed my bag and went to take a shower. Near disaster avoided again. Damn, this was stressful.

I started undressing, shirt first. It was then that I realized that Adam hadn't even noticed Jeff's shirt. I smiled again and folded the shirt lovingly in my suitcase.


	3. [3/4] Climax. [Or: It's hittin' the fan....

"Wear it t' th' ring next time."

"Jeff..."

He pouted at me mockingly. Yes, he was referring to that red mesh shirt again. I examined his hazel eyes and brushed a loose lock of red hair from his forehead. His hair was starting to break from over-dying it and it tended to fall loose all too often. Not that I was complaining, it was always another excuse to touch him. Not that I really needed any, seeing as how he had me pressed up against a wall in very compromising position. Something in the back of my mind was commanding me enjoy the situation to the fullest. Unfortunately, something in the front of my mind was naggingly broadcasting to me that Adam was somewhere in the building and could theoretically find me at any minute. I had to get out of this position - against all my own feral desires - before Adam came strolling around the corner. And my only way out was to agree to wear Jeff's shirt, it seemed. I'd already fought tonight, Jeff wanted me to wear it tomorrow.

"It's better than that black one y' wear now."

I looked down to the sheer, black shirt I was wearing. It was a nice shirt, I thought. I'd been wearing it for years during the Edge and Christian Dynasty. "What's wrong with this shirt?"

"You're hidin' some of y' best features," Jeff smirked at me, setting his hand playfully on my chest.

I tried to play it off with a laugh and moved his hand away. "I thought only girls had to worry about men talking to their chests instead of their faces."

"Maybe Ah'm a chauvanist. Sue me."

I smiled up at him and he kissed me. Well, I'm a sucker for that. I can't help it. I pulled away sooner than he would have liked but tried to compensate with a smile. "I'll just have to deal with that, I guess."

"Yup," he nodded. "Now, th' shirt."

"Why are you so fixated on this?" I asked, finally taking the shirt he was holding out to me.

"'Cause Ah like how y' look in it."

"All right, all right. I'll wear it. Tomorrow."

Jeff beamed as I took the shirt, then kissed me again. Just another kiss for him, but there was an ever present paranoid tension whenever we kissed in public. Adam - or someone who might tell Adam - could be anywhere, watching. I was slipping, though. The longer I was around Jeff, the more willing I was to let him touch or even kiss me in public. Probably not a good idea, I realized. Especially after a voice interrupted us.

"All right, boys, break it up."

Jeff and I turned, smiling, to Jeff's older brother, who was grinning back at us. "There's somethin' t' be said f' public displays of affection, but this is gettin' ridiculous."

Jeff took my hand and stood up to Matt, defiantly. "Y' jus' jealous."

Matt just shrugged. "Don't tell Amy."

I kept my mouth shut, wishing Adam and I could joke around like that still. Speaking of Adam, I suddenly realized again that Jeff was holding my hand. Can I pull it away? Would Jeff take it the wrong way? No, not if I use the chance to change my shirts, I think. I took my hand away, causing Jeff to look at me, confused, but I smiled shortly and switched the shirts. Jeff beamed again, then turned to Matt. "Does he look good in that shirt or what?"

Matt smiled gently. "Very nice."

"Very nice?" Jeff asked, incredulous.

"Very nice," Matt repeated, noticing that I was in my wrestling gear. "Y' gonna wear that t' th' ring?"

"I guess so," I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yeah he is," Jeff acknowledged, proudly. "An' he'll be gorgeous."

I blushed and Matt smirked. "Y' know, Ah never thought you'd be this int' anythin' that wore tights."

I jokingly sneered at Matt, but Jeff turned and loudly confided to me, "He's jus' tryin' t' get a rise outta you. He knows that my first crush was th' Macho Man."

"I'm not going to wear frills or a cowboy hat, just so you know."

Matt and Jeff laughed again, then Matt gestured for Jeff to follow him. "C'mon, Jeff, our match is in ten."

Jeff sighed. "Ah'll catch up t' you in a minute."

Matt nodded and stepped off, heading down the hall. Turning to me, Jeff smiled softly.

"I'll catch you later, then. I have to shower from my match, anyway."

"Not goin' t' wait f' me?" Jeff smirked, not taking his eyes off me. He tugged playfully at the bottom loops of the shirt. I just grinned and shook my head. "All right, Ah'll -"

"Jay?"

I know that I stopped breathing. I think my heart may have stopped, too. For a couple beats, at least. My eyes were on Jeff, and his brows raised in confusion at the look of abject terror that Adam's voice registered on my face. He let go of my shirt and took a step back in confusion, then repeated Adam's question with much less shock and much more concern, "Jay?"

"I... uh..." I couldn't even speak once I started breathing again. I shifted my glance from Jeff to Adam. Adam's green eyes were as wide as mine and there was an obvious look of shock and disgust on his face.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Adam, it's not what you think..."

"It's not?" Jeff asked harshly. I turned back to him suddenly, finding that he'd narrowed his eyes at me. "What exactly isn't it?"

Shit, shit, shit. I tried to respond, but no words came out. No need, I found out sadly, as Jeff turned away from me and glared at Adam now.

"So it's true. Ah'd heard it, but Ah figured that Jay wouldn't keep that from me." Harsh look in my direction. "Guess Ah was wrong."

"What -" Adam started to question, but Jeff took a step in his direction.

"If y' have a problem with me, why didn't y' take it up with me instead of talkin' b'hind my back?"

I dropped my head. Not like this, not like this.

"I -"

"Y' friend doesn't seem t' have a problem with my swingin'. Ah think he kinda likes it."

Ah, fuck. I looked up quickly to receive another scathing glance from Jeff.

"Jay..." Adam started a sentence that he wasn't going to finish anytime soon.

"Tell him, Jay," Jeff ordered. I looked at him again. I'd never seen him this angry before. He almost looked like he would kill me, Adam, or both of us if I didn't confirm Adam's worst fears. He took a step towards me and restated his command more bluntly. "Tell him that you're with me. Tell him we've been together a month an' a half now b'hind his back."

"Wait a minute, -" Adam tried to cut him off, but Jeff ignored it and continued.

"Tell him Ah've been fuckin' you f' almost a month now."

I winced. I didn't know the truth could knock the wind out of you like that. I couldn't bear to look at Jeff now, but it was even harder to look at Adam, so Jeff won my glance. "Jeff, I'm -"

"You're a coward, Jay. A fuckin' coward," he pointed to Adam. "This sure as hell explains a lot. What d' y' care more about, lyin' t' him, or lyin' t' me?"

"Jeff, it's more complicated than -"

"It's always complicated with you, isn't it?" Jeff sneered back at me. "Maybe 'cause you're never tellin' anyone th' truth."

"Wait a minute," Adam tried to interrupt again.

"Shut up!" Jeff yelled, forcefully. Adam blinked and stepped back.

I stepped up to Jeff and reached for his hand. "Please, Jeff, just -"

"Forget it, Jay," he growled, jerking his hand away. "Let me know when y' want t' be honest."

"Jeff..."

"Better yet, don't. Don't bother me anymore."

With that, he turned on his heel and stalked off. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I watched him go. I'd really fucked it up this time. Congratulations, Jay. Dropping my head into my hands, I wiped away tears with the heels of my hands. Christ, I hadn't cried since I was in school. This occasion, however, seemed to merit tears.

"You're gay?"

I looked up quickly, suddenly realizing that Adam was still standing right behind me. Of all the...

"Goddammit, Adam, I really don't need this right now."

There was silence, then the soft click of wrestling boots stepping around me. I slowly raised my eyes to look at Adam. He still looked thoroughly disgusted. "You're gay? And you never told me?"

"Like I could fucking tell you. What would you have done? Huh?"

Adam looked away, shaking his head. "I don't know..."

"And to tell you that I was with Jeff? Even better, right?" I glared at him, stepping back into his glance. He met my eyes momentarily, then looked away again.

"I can't believe..."

"Can't believe that I just ruined the first great relationship I ever had because I was too afraid to tell you that it was with a man? Can't believe that I hid him from you that long? What?"

"You're gay?"

I shook my head with disgust. "Fine, Adam, what the fuck ever. If you can't deal with the fact that I'm a 'fucking faggot,' fine. Have a nice life. Right now, I just need to be alone for a while."

So I left him there, in shock, as I stormed off. I don't know where I was going. My eyes were glued to the floor and I decided to keep walking until I couldn't walk anymore. In my condition, however, I didn't think that would be that long. I couldn't think straight. Jeff hated me. Adam hated me. **I** hated me. Which was the worst? I had no idea. I felt like I could just curl up in a ball and die. But no, I would keep walking. And walking and walking.

"Jay?"

And I stopped. Eyes still on the floor, I found a pair of black sneakers first. Raising, loose black pants that tapered at the hips to reveal a pink thong, where small hands graced with black plastic bracelets rested, and chiseled stomach. Higher still, a pink tank top under a black mesh, the tips of bright red hair, and a huge face on the shoulder. I kept moving my eyes up.

"Amy..."

She looked surprised, and tried to meet my glance. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Jay, what happened? You don't look so good."

"I just need to be by myself for a while," I sighed, and started to walk off again.

"I don't think that's ever true," she informed me, catching up and falling in step with me.

"It is now."

"Jay, stop."

I was so surprised by the command that I did. She lead me over to a tech case and I sat down. Perhaps this was where I couldn't walk anymore anyway. She hopped on the case next to me and set a hand on my shoulder. "You can tell me anything, Jay, really."

I didn't want to tell her anything. I just wanted to cry. So I did. I just didn't care anymore. The things I cared most about had just evaporated in the past ten minutes. Amy respected my silence, wrapped her other arm around me, and just held me as I cried. Maternally, I guess, she smoothed my hair back and rocked me slightly. I managed to drown out everything around me and center myself on my own misery. It was a terrible, terrible release.

"Jay," Amy whispered, consolingly.

"Adam hates me," I sniveled back. "And so does Jeff."

She didn't respond. She must have made the correlation herself, because she didn't question further. "You'll be all right, Jay, it'll be all right..."

"I don't know who I'm going to stay with tonight."

I felt her laugh slightly. "It'll be all right, sweetie, you can stay with me."

I sighed, finally clearing my head. "I really screwed up, Amy."

"I know," she answered. "But things will work out, I'm sure."

"I should have just told Adam straight up."

"I know," she repeated, smoothing my hair still. I sighed again, then pulled away from her embrace. "Are you all right?"

"I'll be ok. Don't you have to be at the ring in a few?"

"Yeah, I'm going," she said, jumping off the tech case. "You stay here, I'll be back after their match."

"Not with Jeff?" I asked, pleading her with my eyes.

"No," she smiled and patted my knee. "All by myself."

I nodded. "Thanks, Amy."

"No problem," she whispered, setting her hand on my face and kissing my forehead gently. "Just don't worry, all right?"

I nodded again, and she walked off. I watched her leave and - when she was around the corner - I buried my face in my hands and started crying again. 


	4. [4/4] Denoument. [Or: Stolen endings SO ...

I buried my head under a pillow and tried to ignore the knocking on the door. It wasn't going to happen. Whoever was knocking was awfully persistant.

"Go the fuck away."

"Jay...."

I lifted the pillow. Adam? "I said, fuck off."

"Please let me in, Jay, I want to..." he trailed off. I didn't say anything. "I want to talk to you."

"I don't have anything to say. Go away."

There was a click as the door unlocked and I sat up, surprised. How did he get a key? When the door swung open, I saw Adam standing behind Amy. That bitch. I glared at her to let her know that she should _not_ have done that, but she just smiled weakly at me and let Adam pass her, shutting the door behind him. I fell back on the bed and put the pillow back over my face. Maybe I could smother myself before Adam told me exactly how many ways I made him want to vomit.

"Jay..."

"Please go away? I'm asking nicely."

"No."

The bed shift as Adam sat down next to me. You know, with my face covered like this, I wouldn't be able to see the fatal blow. Good.

"Please look at me, Jay."

"No. Go away."

There was a moment of silence, then Adam took my pillow from me. I glared at him, then rolled on my side so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"Look, Jay, I..."

"For wanting to talk so bad you sure don't seem to have much to say."

I heard Adam sigh, frustrated. "I don't hate you."

"That's great, 'cause I hate you."

A pause, then, "Why?"

"Because for fifteen goddamned years I had to pretend I was straight around you so you wouldn't hate me, and now you tell me that you wouldn't have hated me?"

He paused again, then sounded slightly surprised, "Fifteen years?"

"Goddammit, Adam, don't you see that I've been lying to you for almost as long as you've known me just because you were the only person who hadn't rejected me yet? And I finally found someone else, but then I had to choose one or the other. And I couldn't, so I lost both."

"You haven't lost me."

"I -" I stopped. What? Rolling over, I found Adam watching me with a soft smile. He was sitting at the top of the bed, leaning back and propping himself up with one arm. "What does that mean?"

"We've been through a lot of shit together, Jay. You've always been there for me and I've always been there for you. This is really hard for you, I can't leave you alone now."

I sat up, knitting my brow. "No, really, Adam. You're the biggest homophobe I've ever met in my life. You do realize that I'm gay, and you're sitting on a bed with a man who had a crush on you for almost five years, right?"

Adam's eyebrows jumped up with surprise, but not fear or disgust. "Wow. Five years?"

I wrinkled my brow in confusion. Why wasn't he fleeing yet? "Um..."

"These last five years?"

"No, back in college."

He almost frowned. "Oh, not anymore?"

I blinked at him. "Well, I forced myself to get over it because I figured you'd kill me if you knew. Or worse."

He shrugged and looked away. "Why Jeff?"

I did a double take. "What do you mean, 'Why Jeff?' Why Jillian? Why Alexis? Why any of your ex-girlfriends?"

"Oh," he answered quietly, examining the zipper of his leather jacket. "So it wasn't, like, to get back at me or anything?"

I hesitated, confused. "Get back at you for what?"

"I don't know. Being homophobic."

"No, Adam. I couldn't be mean to you if I tried. I love you." I caught myself quickly. "Well, not like that."

"No?" He asked, frowning again and still not looking at me.

"Are you _trying_ to give me a complex?"

He finally looked at me, still frowning. "No, it's just that..."

I sat up, trying to find some kind of answer in his eyes. He was looking at me funny. It was starting to weird me out. "What?"

With no answer, he just closed his eyes and leaned towards me. Oh, holy shit. He's going to kiss me. Well, I couldn't exactly say no, I'd only been imagining this for my whole adult life so far. So I kissed him. I kissed the most homophobic man I knew, and I made it count. This would be no wussy, timid, first kiss. I let him know what he was missing.

Then he drew away, and I glared at him. "Why the fuck did you do that?"

"I love you, Jay."

"Fuck off, Adam. What are you trying to pull?"

"I've wanted to do that for years."

I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away from him. "Then why didn't you just do it, instead of bashing fags?"

"I... I was afraid. I was afraid to admit it."

"You know, Adam, this is a real bad time for this."

"I thought you were straight. I thought you'd hate me if you knew."

"You're making fun of me."

"I swear I'm not. I just kissed you, remember?"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I got jealous."

"What?"

"When I saw you with Jeff, I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling. Then I figured it out. I was insanely jealous of Jeff."

"Well, I happen to like Jeff, thank you very much."

"I noticed."

I turned to him, slowly, at that. He was again examining the zipper on his jacket, frowning. Well, goddammit. "What am I supposed to do now, huh?"

"I... I don't know."

"Jeff is important to me."

"Is he really mad?"

"You saw him last night."

"I didn't do anything last night, Jay. I just showed up and Jeff flipped."

"I know," I sighed, looking away again. "It was my fault."

"So you don't hate me?"

"I can't hate you, Adam."

"Good. Because I love you."

"It's still not funny."

"It's not supposed to be." We both fell into silence for a moment. I didn't know what to say. How dare he spring this on me now? Of all the... what is that? Is he rubbing my shoulder? I turned my head slightly to find that, yes, he was. "How do you love me?"

"What?"

"You just said you love me. But not like that. How then?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Adam..."

"Please, Jay..."

"I don't know, anymore. You're not exactly the same person I knew ten minutes ago."

"I'm exactly the same. Just one tiny detail."

"Right, well, that 'tiny detail' had been a huge fucking thorn in my side for almost as long as I've known you."

"All right, I screwed up," Adam confessed, moving his hand from my shoulder and wrapping his arms around me. "Can't you forgive me?"

I leaned my head back on his chest, exhausted from confusion. It suddenly hit me that I was now wrapped up in Adam's arms. I'd imagined this everytime I'd been stressed out for a class or when things got too hard on the road. Hmm, it felt even better than I'd expected. I put my hands on his and sighed, only to have him kiss my collar bone gently. You know, Jeff might have been fun and flashy, but Adam was more comfortable. We'd been through so much together, we knew each other so well... I'd been thinking of Adam much longer than I had thought of Jeff. Hell, I'd been thinking of Adam when I was with Jeff. And now I could have him. It seemed so simple.

"Jeff is going to kill me when he finds out."

"Finds out what?" Adam asked, blankly.

"That we're together."

"We are?"

"Aren't we?"

"We are," Adam confirmed, squeezing his arms around me. I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"Then Jeff's going to be **pissed**."

"He can fuck off."

"I'm not going to tell him to fuck off."

"Can I?"

"You seem too happy to."

"He was treating you like shit last night."

"I deserved that."

Adam sighed heavily, then, "We'll see what happens."

"No."

"What?"

I pushed myself up and turned to Adam. "I have to talk to Jeff."

"Didn't he say not -"

"I have to."

"Do you want me to go with?"

"No," I said, getting up and heading towards the dresser, where I'd left Jeff's shirt. With a sigh, I picked it up and turned to a surprised Adam who was getting to his feet. "I should do this alone."

He nodded and I opened the door, nearly dumping Amy into the room, as she was leaning on the door.

"Oh! Jay..."

"Did you hear everything?" I smirked. She blushed and sputtered a moment, but I cut her off. "Where's Jeff?"

"I don't think you should -"

"Where is he?"

She sighed. "Room 292."

I nodded at her shortly, then stepped past her down the hall. She ducked into our room, I'm sure, to pry information from Adam. Slowing my pace, I hesitated in front of Jeff's door. What was I going to tell him? What was he going to do? I knocked on the door.

"Jus' a second," he called, then opened the door. He watched me, blankly, wearing just his boxers with a toothbrush hanging from his mouth. After a moment, just as quickly as he'd opened the door, he swung it shut.

"Wait!" I called, stopping the door. There was no pressure, so I just swung it open and watched Jeff retreat to the bathroom.

"Get the fuck outta here, Jay."

I noticed Matt laying on one of the beds, flipping through a magazine. When Jeff told me to leave, Matt looked up, surprised, then jumped to his feet. "Hey, Jeff, Ah'm goin' t' see what Amy's doin'..."

"Don't leave, Matt," Jeff called over running water. "Jay's goin' t' leave."

Matt looked at me, then smiled weakly and left. I stepped over to the bathroom door and watched Jeff wash his face. When he looked up again, he caught my reflection in the mirror and grimaced.

"Y' can't take a fuckin' hint, can ya?"

"Look, Jeff, I'm so sorry -"

"Ah know. Now get out."

"I brought you your shirt."

"Ah don't want it."

"You... what?"

"Ah don't want it. It'll jus' remind me of what y' did t' me."

"Jeff, I didn't mean to..."

"Y' could have told me y' were hung up on Adam."

I felt a lump in my throat. Jesus, he saw right through me. "I didn't think -"

"An' then Ah coulda told y' a long time ago that Adam was gay."

I blinked. "What?"

"Y' didn't honestly think that Adam really hated queers, did'ja?"

"Well, I..."

"Y' did," Jeff said, turning from my reflection to me, looking surprised. "How cute."

"I don't understand."

"Nine times outta ten, queer-bashers are gay themselves. Didn'tcha ever see _American Beauty_?"

I sputtered, trying to think of an appropriate response.

"Look, Jay, Ah'm still pissed at ya, but Ah can't really hold y'own naivity against ya."

"Hey, wait a minute..."

Jeff smiled gently. "Now, go tell Adam that'cha love him an' get outta my room."

"But... you..."

"Don't worry, Ah'll find some way t' get my revenge later," Jeff turned away from me and started to brush his hair. I stood frozen in my spot. "An' keep the shirt."

I looked down to the shirt in my hand. "But..."

"Y' promised me you'd wear it t' the ring. Y' goin' t' go back on that, too?"

"Jeff -"

"That way Ah'll know y' didn't forget me completely."

"I don't think I could."

Jeff's reflection smiled genially at me. "Fine. But jus' stay away from me f' a while, all right?"

"I'm so sorry, Jeff."

"Y' already said that."

"Please don't do this to me..."

Jeff turned away from the mirror again and crossed the room to me. I froze, almost paralyzed with fear. What, was he going to hit me? He stopped in front of me with a condescending smile. I blinked, and he leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Get out."

I hung my head and turned back, finally leaving. Stepping back into the hall, I noticed that I stopped Matt and Amy's conversation short. Amy spoke up, "Um, Jay...?"

"Ask Jeff," I answered, not stopping. And I went back to Adam. Realizing that I forgot my key, I knocked on the door. Adam opened it after a moment, with a concerned look on his face.

"What happened?"

"I don't know."

"Did he forgive you?"

"I..." I looked down to the shirt in my hand. "I guess so."

----------

A/N: So what. I completely stole the homophobic-queer ending from _American Beauty_. At least I gave it props, right? Well. That's all he wrote. [Christian muse, that is.] Time to move on. Bye ya! 


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